The small dirt road from the olden pier joined a slightly larger road heading toward the Valley of Fictus, where their Sunday yik-yak took place. The walk usually took half an hour at a leisurely pace.
“I wonder if it’s this sunny on Faylinn today?” Buck asked.
“Come on,” Banyon said, “you don’t really believe in all that?”
“I believe Faylinn is real,” Penny added defiantly. Truthfully Penny wasn’t at all convinced about the existence of Faylinn, but she saw an opportunity to wind up Banyon.
“You’re right Penny,” Banyon said, “an island of fairies, all flying around the place doing magic. That seems really likely.”
“It’s mentioned in a few of my book,” Buck added.
“See, it’s mentioned in his books,” Penny said, “several of them.”
“All leprechauns know fairies don’t exist,” Banyon said, “next you’ll tell me you believe in Tir na nÓg.”
“I definitely believe in Tir na nÓg,” Penny said as though not believing in it was an insult to her personally, “an island where nobody grows old, who wouldn’t want to live there?”
“You, for one,” Banyon replied, “And it’s not going to work Penny, so don’t even bother trying”.
“You’ve never seen anything unusual out at sea?” Buck asked Banyon.
Banyon had been out to sea because he came from a family of fishrechauns. These were leprechauns that made their living from fishing. Fishrechauns lived in small shale brick huts near the coastline of Innis Freeish. Both Thornbow Silverline and Buck Senior considered shale an extremely poor construction material for housing. They had good reason to believe this as shale bricks were notoriously easy to damage. Fishrechaun’s often spent several hours a week repairing their hut.
“The only thing I’ve ever seen at sea has been fish,” Banyon said.
“No mermaids then?” Buck joked.
“The only half fish half girl I’ve ever seen is standing right beside me.”
“Ha, ha,” Penny said sarcastically, “you’re so funny.”
“But you’ve never fished past the Arc,” Buck said referring to the Innis Freeish rainbow, “who knows what’s out there?”
“Elves,” Banyon replied quickly, “poisonous elves, that’s what’s out there.”
“I hate to admit it but he’s right,” Penny agreed, “elves would like nothing better than to see every leprechaun wiped off the face of Innis Freeish.”
“See, even Penny agrees with me”.
“Who knows what’s out there is all I’m saying,” Buck said.
“Elves,” replied Penny and Banyon in unison.
As Buck, Penny, Banyon, and Fido got closer to the Valley of Fictus they were joined by other leprechauns on the road walking to the yik-yak. They were mostly greeted with polite nods. Several of the leprechauns who recognized Penny gave confused stares as they looked from Penny to Buck to Banyon and back to Penny again. Buck heard the words SIlverline, Snagglepot and fishrechaun being whispered on several occasions between the passers-by.
The Valley of Fictus formed a natural amphitheatre big enough for the entire population of Innis Freeish to assemble in. Spread out in front of Buck and his friends was a powerful and commanding open space. The flanks and sloping central plain of the valley was covered in luscious green grass that provided comfortable seating. Numerous Shetland ponies were mixed in with the thousands of leprechauns.
“Do you see Molly or Dolly anywhere guys?” Buck asked as he looked around the crowd. “Molly said they’d be around here somewhere.”
Fido quickly spotted Molly Coppertrot a short distance away. He let Buck know by pulling on his hair, letting out a few chirps and excitedly pointing in Molly’s direction. Buck walked over to her, followed by Banyon and Penny.
As soon as Molly saw the gang she formed the biggest smile her small leprechaun face could muster. Molly had the uncanny ability to make others around her smile through sheer force of presence. One of her philosophies was that a greeting wasn’t a greeting unless accompanied with a hug. She provided a hug to each of them in turn.
“Yay! We’re all here,” Molly said as she rubbed Fido’s fur, which he clearly enjoyed. Buck thought that if Fido had been born a leprechaun, and a girl, he would have been very much like Molly Coppertrot. The two shared an optimism towards life that defied Buck’s understanding.
Molly’s freckled face heightened whatever emotion she happened to be feeling. Smiles seemed brighter while frowns seemed darker. Not that Buck had ever seen her frown very often. Her shoulder length rose coloured hair seemed to provide the perfect frame for her smile. Penny couldn’t imagine herself wearing the bright yellow dress that seemed so fitting on Molly.
“We’re sitting over here,” Molly said as she took Penny by the hand and led the group of friends through the crowd. “I told Dolly to keep enough space for us all.”
“I love your cardigan Penny,” Molly said as they passed by families sitting on the ground together. Leprechauns usually attended the Sunday yik-yak with their parents until they reached their teenage years. They generally went with their friends after that.
“Your dress is very…bright” Penny said as she struggled to find the correct ending to the sentence.
“I know right,” Molly enthusiastically interrupted, “thanks! Here she is.”
They found Dolly sitting on the ground on her own staring at some twigs. She had arranged them into some complex pattern that she was studying. Even though they were identical twins, very few on Innis Freeish had trouble telling Molly and Dolly apart.
“Dolly, everyone’s here,” Molly said as she placed hand on her sister’s shoulder. Dolly’s black dress couldn’t have contrasted Molly’s any more if it had tried.
“Hi guys,” Dolly replied without looking up at them. Others would have misinterpreted Dolly’s behaviour as rudeness, but her friends understood it was just one of her quirks.
“What are you working on?” Penny asked Dolly.
“Who knows, right?” Molly’s interrupted, “but the shapes look really pretty if you ask me.”
Dolly looked up from her twigs for a moment and flashed a freckled scowl in her sister’s direction. She then looked back at the pattern on the ground and simply said:
“Equilibrium.”
“What’s that one for?” Banyon asked as he pointed at a small twig in the centre.
“What do you know about Cackletop’s law of motion?” Dolly asked without looking away from her twigs.
“Nothing.”
“Then it’s just a twig.”
“Oh.”
Buck recalled how Dolly would always finish her mathematics assignments in school long before everyone else. She could focus on problems with an intense concentration that made the other students in her class seem like wild pukas with a bag of num nums. Branna Greenwhistle alone could match her focus, even if he couldn’t match her intellect.
“How’s your job going?” Molly asked Buck after they’d all sat down on the grass beside Dolly. “Is it getting any better?”
“Nope.”
“Do you think you’ll ever like it?”
“Nope.”
“Then you need to quit.”
“Tell that to the moustache,” Buck said referring to his father. Buck sometimes called his father the moustache when he was feeling frustrated with him.
“Buck’s too much of a sassle to stand up to Buck Senior,” Banyon teased.
“I’m not a sassle,” Buck replied defensively.
Banyon put his index finger under his nose in the shape of a moustache.
“Now you listen here mister,” Banyon said to Buck in a funny voice, “I’m a Snagglepot, you’re a Snagglepot, my father was a Snagglepot, and his father one too. And we all worked for PJ Freeman’s.”
“Leave him alone,” Penny said while she fought off a fit of giggles.
“To be fair Penny,” Buck said, “that’s a pretty accurate impression.”
“Ahh, you were pretending to be Buck Senior,” Molly said smiling, “I just got that. Your finger is his moustache, very funny. Now do Penny’s dad!”
Banyon was fixing his hair and about to start his Thornbow Silverline impression when a hush rippled across the crowd. It was a hushed silence that meant the yik-yak was about to start. The entire gathering looked to the bottom of the Valley of Fictus, and to a long heavy table made of think oak called the Counter of Merit. It was decorated with an intricate spiral pattern expertly chiselled onto the surface. If Buck and his friends hadn’t seen the Counter of Merit up close before they wouldn’t have known what they were looking at from their distance. Behind it was a large banner that laid out the guiding philosophy of the monomyth. There was only one decree written on the banner. It simply read “Tit-for-Tat.”
A leprechaun dressed in a long green and gold coloured robe approached the Counter of Merit to address the gathering. This was the grand yik-yaker, and his name was Barnabus Crouchfoot. He was a wrinkly man. The appearance of his wrinkles was exaggerated due to the complete lack of hair on his head. Barnabus was one of the longest serving yik-yakers in Innis Freeish history. It was a position that typically went to the most learned and wisest leprechaun on the island. His job at the weekly yik-yak was to create scenarios that the leprechauns could discuss among themselves in groups, using the philosophy of the monomyth as guidance to solve them. Only those in the first few rows near the counter could hear the grand yik-yaker speak. These leprechauns then told those behind them, and message would be passed along in this fashion until it reached everyone gathered in the Valley of Fictus.
After a few minutes the first scenario made its way back to Buck and his friends. An overweight leprechaun with a slightly crooked nose sitting in front of Penny turned around and addressed the group:
“You discover several gold corns on the ode, what should you doodle? Pass it on.”
“That’s a difficult one, I wonder what it means?” Molly said.
“It means we’re sitting too far back, the message is distorted,” Dolly replied after slightly repositioning one of her twigs.
“Tit for tat, tit for tat, hmm,” Molly pondered.
“I’ll pass it on,” Penny said as she turned around to address a young family behind her, “you find several gold coins on the road; what do you do? Pass it on.”
“Ahh, that makes more sense,” said Molly.
“Keep them,” replied Banyon.
“No,” said Molly slightly shocked at the suggestion.
“Spend them then.”
“No Banyon, think. Tit-for-tat, what would you like someone to do if they were your coins that were found?”
“I think the answer that Molly is looking for,” Buck interjected as he smiled at Banyon, “is that you should try to find out who lost the coins and then return them to the owner.”
“Perfect,” said Molly as her face lit up. Fido let out a big smile and raised his arms on seeing Molly’s reaction.
“I hate this!” Banyon exclaimed as he lay back on the grass.
“It’s just an hour a week,” Molly reassured him.
“You know what we could be doing now that’s more fun than this?” Banyon asked.
“What?” asked Molly.
“Anything.”
Banyon folded his arms behind his head and started looking for funny shapes in the clouds. He was about to point out a cloud he thought looked remarkable like Buck Senior’s moustache when a he noticed a sea gull circling the Valley of Fictus with something tightly clutched between its legs. He thought no more of it until two more sea gulls joined the first, all grasping onto something.
“That’s weird,” Banyon said.
“What?” enquired Buck.
“Those gulls circling overhead.”
Buck looked up and saw several more sea gulls join the original group. Then some more. And more again. Before long the flock had grown to almost a hundred birds circling over the Valley of Fictus, each one grasping onto something between their legs. Their numbers started to grow so large that a great shadow was cast over the valley. The sight of so many sea gulls loitering in the sky caused quite a commotion among the leprechauns; no one had ever seen such a thing.
One of the sea gulls suddenly made a steep dive toward the assembled crowd. Buck was sure the bird was going to crash straight into a group of elderly leprechauns when, at the last moment, it pulled up and released whatever it was holding onto. It appeared to Buck to be small black canister of some kind, but he couldn’t be sure.
All of a sudden the rest of the flock started swooping and diving toward the ground. Each one released their payload before sharply pulling up. A sense of panic and confusion set in as the birds squawking and screeching causing some leprechauns to run for the hills. By the time the last bird had dropped its cargo there were hundreds of similar black canisters littering the ground. The sea gulls then casually flew away as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.
Buck approached one of the black canisters. He could see other leprechauns unscrewing the top, which he did as well. He pulled out a piece of parchment that was rolled up inside it. He saw that each one of the canisters nearby contained the exact same message. In bold letters, and with perfect grammar and spelling was written:
“PREPARE FOR WAR”